Color My Thumb Brown

I hate watering houseplants. The only ones I have are those that survive long periods of drought followed by saucer-underneath-filling drenchings. Those nice Aquaglobes sold as "the perfect gift" for plant owners are great, but you have to fill them with water almost as often as you should water your plants. They do look interesting, and visitors often remark, "Oh, you got some of those plant-watering things for Christmas, didn't you?"

Pothos plants are great for people like me. Those are the plants you can root easily from a single leaf and they live forever. You don't even have to plant them in dirt. They live very well in a small cup of water (as long as you remember to replenish the liquid from time to time). When one gets overgrown and leggy you just cut off the leaves and make a new plant--or two or three.

It seems the cheapest Christmas poinsettias are the ones that survive, too. If you wait to water them until their leaves droop they seem to last longer. At least mine have.

I admire people with green thumbs. The most gifted are those who can keep a peace lily alive and blooming, and whose Christmas cactuses (cacti?) actually blossom each year instead of every 2-3 years as mine does (after I relegate it to the garage for punishment).

I prefer fake plants. It's amazing how life-like some of them are. I have a friend who asked how I managed to keep the greenery in my guest bath looking so good in such low light. "Dusting", I told her.