Thoughts about Having Great Potential

How many times have your heard a teacher or parent say about a child that he or she has “great potential” but isn’t working up to it? How many students shine brilliantly in school (have “great potential”) but do not seem to “make it” in the real world?

Many people say that children are influenced by the expectations of others and that not raising the bar high enough limits the development of children. Adults will only do as much as they have to in order to meet others’ expectations.

But what if, inside that child (or adult) there is a voice that says, “You don’t have to achieve what other people think you should. If you’re not happy doing something, don’t do it”?

Why should one try to live up to the expectations of others when deep inside one doesn’t want to? Is it wrong to be “mediocre”? Isn’t it enough just to be “average”? Can’t others be satisfied when one does just enough to get by despite an innate ability to do more?

There is, in some cultures, a stigma against doing better than one’s peers. Some men do not like “uppity women” and women want to be liked by men in order to make homes and have children. People “of color” or of lower social echelons who “act white” or different from those they live with may be shunned by their social group.

But what if one is not “of color”, doesn’t act “uppity” or has no personality deficiencies that set him or her apart from the general population? What if one just doesn’t have what is sometimes called “ambition”? If one is able to do more by virtue of a deep well of intellectual capacity but is content not to draw water from that well? Does one owe it to others (family, friends, teacher, co-workers, employers or society at large) to use that “great potential”?

We hear news stories of people who have performed way above what other assumed was their “potential.” There are many quotes about people who have died young and never had a chance to “live up to their potential.”

What about people who just want to live their lives simply, easing over whatever bumps in the road come along, making do with what is on or beside the road, not worrying about what’s over the horizon? As long as they have food, clothing and shelter, must they always need or want more? Do they have to “live up to their potential”, whatever it may have been determined to be by others?

On the other hand, how many of those who say they don’t want to do something are actually afraid of doing it and failing? The greater they are told their potential is, the more difficult it is to meet expectations. Even small imperfect actions are felt as personal failures. If they do nothing that risks failure, they do not have to deal with negative consequences. Is someone with “great potential” all right in not wanting to risk what to him or her is generates unpleasant feelings? Because one can, must one?

What do you think?